"There is no more blessed way of living than a life of dependence on a covenant-keeping God. We have no cares, for he careth for us; we have no troubles, because we cast our burdens upon the Lord."
-Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, September 1-
This is a quote about which I had planned to write a while ago. For any curious, recent "distractions" include: time with my siblings over Thanksgiving break, "Colonial Day" (pilgrim costume included), buying a ticket to Tulsa, high school Spanish tutoring, researching Ancient Greece, creating grading rubrics, Spanish Christmas lesson plans, playing "Circum Mundum" in Latin, setting up a new cell phone, visiting the public library (new favorite location), singing "Adeste Fideles" #TCA, leading 6th grade Bible Study, more high school tutoring, researching and creating fun history projects, discovery of Pinterest, finding a church, decorating my classroom for Christmas, attending the ACSI Conference (Association of Christian Schools International) in Dallas, fighting against my control-freak tendencies, meeting with my wonderful head of school, and learning a ton.
Maybe this list will suffice for my lack of blogging and email-responding. Probably not. Return to main point of blog...
The number of Christian devotionals available continually excites and overwhelms me. In reality, the number of books, articles, emails, and blogs to read excites and overwhelms me. There is so much to learn, to study, to know about, and to grow in. Truly, reading proves to be an exciting adventure, one that will always be ahead of me. Yet the question remains: How does a person have enough time to read? Honestly, in the scheme of things, I don't even have THAT much to read, especially in relation to many people I know. Even so, this is something with which I constantly struggle.
Regarding devotional books in particular, how am I supposed to find enough time in the day to read Jesus Calling, Streams in the Desert, My Utmost for His Highest, my collection of teacher devotional books, and the rest of the stack on my nighttime table, in addition to having a regular quiet time? As I wrestle with this question, I am brought back over and over to Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening devotional, a book which one of my good high school friends gave to me for graduation. More than any devotional I own, this one speaks incredible truth to my life, every time I read its words.
For any historically interested: Spurgeon lived in the mid to late 19th century and was one of the most well-known preachers in England of his time. He became a pastor at age 20 and soon after was preaching to thousands on a weekly basis. His church, the Metropolitan Tabernacle, was a place known for its social work throughout the city of London. Spurgeon was one of the most influential preachers, writers, and leaders of his time.
The above quote from his Morning and Evening devotional is one that the Lord has continually laid on my heart. In my humanity, I cringe at dependence, for dependence on something or someone means the loss of control. I love to make lists, organize, prepare, discuss paperwork, plan, manage, think about details, and find better systems. Some of these qualities are good things, of course, but I cannot micromanage others or even my own life. Consciously, I need to work on the type of submission that lets God be God in and over my life, realizing that this is the most "blessed way of living."
Ultimately, God is covenant-keeping. He is faithful. The author of covenant has willingly entered into a covenant with me, despite my own unfaithfulness. Even better, "HE who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion." Philippians 1:6 reminds me that God, the faithful, the covenant-keeping, is the one who carries me on to completion. Not my lists. Not my systems. Not my plans.
Why, then, is it difficult to let go of control, of independence, of micromanagement, in order to live a life of dependence upon Him? I am brought back to Romans 7: "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing" (v. 19). I understand Paul and his frustration; this oftentimes seems to be my life's story. Yet, as Paul continues, this frustration doesn't end hopeless. Despite the realization of "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?", there is hope: "Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (v.24-25). Indeed, here again, the faithful, covenant-keeping God in whose rescue we can hope, promises renewed faithfulness.
In light of this, I am learning to let go of cares and troubles. Faithful God cares for me. No care merits my anxiety. Rescue-bringing God takes my burdens upon himself. No trouble deserves my worry. This is the life of dependence that Spurgeon described. This is the life that I long to live.
